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SOYUZMULTFILM

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ABOUT SIDOROV VOVA

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As a boy, Vova had gotten
Rather awfully spoiled rotten.

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He was clean and tenderfooted,

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And to hardships quite unsuited.

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Right from sunrise it would start:

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"Give me this"
and "give me that".

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"Put me on the horse right now."

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"Look at me, or I will howl!"

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From his grandma's side, his mother
Fried one pancake after another.

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Grandma, from his mother's side,
Taught him scales - or tried.

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[Children's World]

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And the grandpa he adored,
Dressed up in a warm fur coat,

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A whole hour, or maybe four,
Roamed the big Children's World store.

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The right connections grandpa had
To buy jeans for the young lad.

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To fulfill his fancies,
The boy's uncles and aunties

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Would do everything, and more:
They would bake cakes by the score,

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They competed, and they raced

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To gift bicycles and skates.

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Why was that?

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Oh, very simple.
No secret to anyone:

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'Twas a house of many adults,
But the children numbered "one".

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But the years do seem to race,

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Not like in the former days.

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One year passed. And then the next.

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The time came to leave his nest

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And make discipline his friend
In the Red Army's command.

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Vova went to the army...

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...and took all his family.

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<i>Remember,
Hup-two!</i>

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<i>I'll come back
in two winters...</i>

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At his army unit's post
Vova arrives. "Hello!

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That's me,
And this is my mummy.

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We'll serve together,
I'll have it known...

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'Cause I can't do a thing on my own."

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They sent the marshal a telegram.

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<i>Recruit Sidorov brought
his mother with him.</i>

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The lieutenant
got the telegram.

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"Allo! Allo!"

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<i>Recruit Sidorov brought
his mother with him.</i>

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<i>He wants her
to serve with him.</i>

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He was afraid
to deliver the message.

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One hour passed. And another.

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Woe!
No answer from Moscow.

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"Okay," said the colonel,
steeling his nerve,

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"Let it be as you wish. Go and serve."

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<i>Company!</i>

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<i>Hup, two, three!
Hup, two, three!</i>

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That same day, following his ma...

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...Along came his grandpapa,

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Grandma with a pillow for his head,

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And auntie with a folding bed.

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"Without us, our child will be dead.

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A plane will fall on his head."

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<i>Company, wake up!</i>

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From sun-rise to sun's last ray -
That's a soldier's working day.

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Here, everything's made up
of unwritten rules.

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Can't do it? We'll teach you.

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Don't want to? We'll make you.

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We must all remember,
No matter what the chore:

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It goes hard in the learning,
But easy in the war.

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[Warrior! Be attentive!]

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<i>Marusya, hup-two-three,
The guelder rose, the black-haired girl</i>

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<i>Was picking berries in the garden...</i>

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<i>Marusya, hup-two-three,
The guelder rose, the black-haired girl</i>

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<i>Was picking berries in the garden...</i>

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[Art Is for the People]

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A moveable feast, so I am told,

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"Lights out" is called.

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It is true what people say:

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A sleeping soldier's still serving away!

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Morning. Training ground. Cadets.

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A whole sea of epaulettes.

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Music, sun... beyond all doubt -
Vova's squad is heading out!

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Full of pep, he marches off,
Our lad Vova Sidorov.

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Just a hat is all he wears -
All the rest, his auntie bears.

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O'er his shoulder, a baguette -
Food for when he breaks a sweat.

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With him, one after another,
Walk his aunt, grandma and mother.

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And off to one side, of course,
Grandpapa on his grey horse

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Covers Sidorov's right flank.
(His left's covered by a tank.)

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And so, meter after meter,
They walk one whole kilometer.

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Mother sees hay lying about,

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...and commands,
"A break! Time out!"

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The grandparents already
Are getting lunch ready...

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And feed Vova, their child,
One spoonful at a time.

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One for mama.

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One for papa.

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One spoonful for the sergeant.

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And for the colonel
No less than a ladle.

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Once the lunch was fully eaten,
It was time to have a meeting.

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About battles, about marches,
About military actions.

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"Who will we send on reconnaissance?"

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"Why, Grandma and Grandpa,
of course.

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Like two backpackers they'll rough it,
Crawl 300 kilometers, roughly...

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...to find out where
the rockets are hidden...

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...and other such
secrets forbidden."

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<i>No, no.</i>

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"Who will be on defence,
while they're gone?"

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"Give a call to Uncle Andron.

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He's a brewery guard,
works at night -

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He will shoot all the bad guys
on sight.

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You must call Nephew Victor right now.

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And call Pyotr Kuzmich, I avow.

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Go and find Uncle Igor at once.

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Boris, Zina, Simon...

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...call them all."

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<i>You have left your native shore...</i>

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"Oh, and Vova? Don't trouble the lad.

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He's our only reward, our one joy.

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So we need to guard
our little boy.

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Give Mama a machine gun, instead!"

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The division never was
so embarrassed.

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Then came a telegram.

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Only one line:

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<i>Get rid of all the extra people.
Full-stop.</i>

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Yes, that Vova Sidorov
Had some great traits to show off:

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Briefly put, he was obtuse,

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Lazy, dumb, and of no use.

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It's good that
other soldiers, mind...

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...are boys of an absolutely
different kind...

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...they can stand on guard
24 hours...

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...sail on a boat
in stormy seas...

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[Shooting Gallery]

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...hit any target true...

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...and never, ever fail you.
<i>- Stop! Left face!</i>

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"If everyone was
spoiled like Vova..."

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"...then our country would've
long since been conquered."

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"But trust the word
of a soldier:

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We will straighten out
even a Vova."

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<i>Right face!</i>

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<i>Quick march!</i>

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<i>I really need tender letters,</i>
Script: Eduard Uspenskiy, Eduard Nazarov

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<i>I will learn them all by heart.</i>
Director & Art Director: Eduard Nazarov

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<i>In two winters, in two springs,</i>
Camera: Mihail Druyan, Sound: Boris Filchikov

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<i>I'll serve and then I'll come back home.</i>
Animators: N. Bogomolova, G. Zebrova, E.
Maslova, A. Abarenov, D. Kulikov, Yu. Kozyurin

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<i>Remember: in two, in two winters,</i>
Ass. Director: T. Lytko, Artists: V.
Chuguyevskiy, I. Oleynikov, G. Morozov,

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<i>In two, in two springs,</i>
Ye. Kachkova, V. Makina, A. Chistova
Montage: M. Miheyeva, Narrator: S. Yurskiy

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<i>I will serve,</i>
Script Editor: Raisa Frichinskaya
Production Director: V. Yegorshin

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<i>I'll serve and then I'll come back home.</i>
THE END

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Soyuzmultfilm, 1985
(subtitles - Niffiwan & FBJ, 2023)